Stefan Mileschin

Could this be the end of the world?

Apple's temporal and spiritual head Tim Cook has warned of potential trials and tribulations for followers of the cargo cult due to the plague coronavirus, the unfaithful apostates and heretics who belive in value for money.

Cook gaveth not his his normal prophecy of glory for the current quarter because of uncertainty created by the virus, and he beareth witnessed before his congregation that iPhone sales declined in the March quarter as device sales were forced to online-only in many places.

Yeah verily the only thing he could speak of to give his followers hope was that sales of subscription services such as streaming television content rose with billions of people locked in their homes, which pushed the overall number of subscribers to paid apps and services on Apple’s devices to 515 million.

However nay sayers and apostates of Wall Street, for they are legion, pointed out that Cook was too silent about AppleTV+. They did wonder how many subscribers were added in the quarter, especially following updates from rivals like Netflix and Disney+ and others did spake of how Apple's content was rather poor -- yeah unto a great streaming turd.

And the people of China who have propped up Apple's sales have turned their back on the cargo cult saying "in this time of woe why should we spend so much cash just for the a device which carries the mark of Jobs".

https://fudzilla.com/news/50753-appl...d-tribulations